


Sirius' Secret

by LinSpinner



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Furry loins, Lupine lover, Marauders, One Shot, What's under the pillow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 20:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15445701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinSpinner/pseuds/LinSpinner
Summary: Sirius has something quite interesting stashed away...Humorous one-shot





	Sirius' Secret

"Hey Sirius, what're you reading? You're not studying, are you?" James Potter's voice resounded through the Gryffindor boys' dorm.

"Huh? What? Studying? No, not me," replied Sirius Black as from on top of his bed he frantically fumbled with the magazine in his hands and tried to shove it underneath the pillow. "I'm just taking a nap. Or trying to. It's too cold up here. What do you say we go down to the common room?"

James wasn't buying his friend's innocence. "Come off it. What'er you doing? Are you hiding something from me? I thought we didn't have any secrets. YOU'VE LIVED AT MY HOUSE, MATE!"

"I told you, it's nothing. Let's go." Sirius got up off the bed, nonchalantly adjusting the covers to make sure the magazine was entirely hidden by the bedding.

James seemingly ignored the action, but just when Sirius reached the door, he darted around his friend and dove at the bed. "I'm going to find your secret!" he exclaimed.

Whipping out his wand, Sirius shouted, "Accio, magazine!"

The item zoomed from under the pillow right into Sirius' hands.

"Hey, no fair!" James shouted as he dove back across the room and tackled Sirius. "Show me what you've got!" With Sirius' arms pinned on either side of him, James added, "Did you find my pictures of Lily in the bath?

Sirius' grip on the magazine went limp as he said incredulously, mouth agape and eyes wide, "You've got pictures of Lily in a bath?"

James blushed. "Forget I said that." Then he took the opportunity to grab the magazine and started flipping through the pages. "Well, well, well. Look what we've got here! This. Is. Bloody. Incredible." With a wicked grin on his face, James looked up at the defeated, disheveled Sirius. "Have you showed this to Remus yet?"

Now it was Sirius' turn to blush. The color rising rapidly in his face, he said angrily, "No, and I don't plan on it. You better not tell him, either!"

"Oh yeah? Try to stop me. Don't you think he'd love to know that you've got werewolf porn hidden under your bed? Wouldn't he be flattered?"

Sirius scowled. "I was just doing some- some research," he managed to say. "For Defense Against the Dark Arts. About the reproductive lives of werewol-"

"I'm not buying that," James laughed. "You think werewolves are sexy. Just admit it. You're looking at pictures of them. That's not doing research. I'm the one who doesn't do his schoolwork, so I should know."

"You're delusional."

"Am not. You're the one hiding a magazine of suggestively-posing werewolves in his bed. Fierce and strong, yes. Terrifying, yes. Well, except Remus. Do I want to snog one? No. Make out with one? Absolutely not!"

"That's not funny."

"Yes it is."

"Is not."

"Is, too."

Still sitting on the floor, they turned silent as Sirius sat and fumed while James flicked through the werewolf images with amusement on his face.

Finally, James said, "I promise not to tell Remus." He paused, but there was a wicked glint in his eye.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "But...? There's no way you're going to not say anything else."

"Oh, how well you know me. I won't tell Remus or anyone, but _you_ have to take one of those pictures and send it to Remus."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out.

James continued, "It can be anonymously. But you have to write a message on it. Something like 'to my sexy lupine lover, you make me lust for your furry loins'."

"WHAT!? No way in any hell I'm doing that."

"Suit yourself." James shrugged. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing all of these. They're practically priceless by themselves without that little special message."

Glaring daggers at James, Sirius said, "Fine. I'll do it. Watch the post tomorrow morning, and Remus will get mail. But I swear, if you then tell anyone about this, I know that you've got nude pictures of Lily stashed somewhere. Bet she doesn't know about those!"

It was James' turn to glare. "Deal. Now put this thing away and let's go get dinner. I'm starved."


End file.
